Dear @cyclesandsex,

I have always wanted to experience female ejaculation, though the sensation of imminent urination trips me up. While I know what a clitoral orgasm feels like. Stimulation for 'squirting' has yet to happen. Am I missing something? Could I be doing it all wrong? Guidance is appreciated!




Dear #ruler_of_radical_pleasure

The funny thing about female ejaculation is that even though it’s not urine, the sensation can feel like you’re about to pee. This has to do with inner workings of the G spot surrounding the urethral canal. During penetration, the erectile tissue of the G spot becomes engorged with blood and the vaginal prostate swells with fluid, creating the sensation that you need a trip to the restroom. The mental block of not wanting to pee is the most common hindrance when it comes to squirting but there are some things you can try. Practice stimulating your G spot alone. About 30 mins before you begin, drink a big glass of water to ensure you’re hydrated. Use the restroom before you start to squash any suspicions of just needing to pee. Lay down a towel, play some relaxing music, and get yourself comfortable. To find the G spot, feel around a few inches inside of the vaginal opening for a series of ridges, leading to a big puffy gland. Massage this gland until it begins to swell and the movement of your fingers are restricted. Be patient — it can take a relatively long period of time for the gland to become fully engorged. With this buildup of fluid, you may feel the sensation to urinate and that’s normal. Instead of clenching your pelvic muscles to hold it in, do the opposite and push out like you’re trying to pee. Hold this push for a few seconds, stop and continue stimulating your G spot. Keep cycling through stimulating, pushing out, stopping, stimulating, pushing out, stopping, and eventually you should be able to ejaculate. If this still isn’t working for you there are some things to consider. Are you turned on enough? Do you need a toy to help stimulate your G spot better? Do your pelvic floor muscles need some strengthening via Kegel exercises? Are you hydrated? Are you still holding back? Female ejaculation is a healthy, normal part of sex that usually requires us to get comfortable with unusual and sometimes messy sensations. The good news is that if you have a vagina, you have the capacity to teach yourself to squirt! So keep trying and happy squirting!

All the best,


Amy Boyajian is the Founder and CEO of wildflowersex, an all-inclusive, online sexual wellness boutique. A former dominatrix, Amy created Wild Flower as an organic retaliation to the unethical and discriminatory practices in the sex and pleasure industries. Check out www.wildflowersex.com for more!